Parenting is no easy journey.
Every family follows its own set of values, traditions, and rules—yet there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising children.
That said, many Reddit users had strong opinions about a mother’s decision to stop cuddling with her daughter…
The mother shares her perspective.
A 37-year-old woman turned to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A*****e’ thread to open up about a recent dilemma involving her young daughter.
“My daughter is very small for her age and as a result gets treated like a younger child sometimes,” she explained in her post.
“She loves climbing into my or my [husband’s] lap for cuddles on the couch or in a chair,” the mother continued, admitting that she had started questioning whether her daughter might be “too old” for such behavior and whether allowing it could even be doing more harm than good.
The incident unfolded just a day before the woman shared her story.
When her 11-year-old daughter attempted to climb onto her lap for a cuddle, the mother responded, “I told her she was too old for that and to get off me.” The child, visibly upset, got off her lap, retreated to her room, and slammed the door.
Since then, the daughter has avoided seeking cuddles, and a noticeable tension has developed in the household. “She doesn’t talk to me unless she has to and when I hugged her goodnight last night she didn’t hug me back,” the woman admitted.
Feeling conflicted and guilty for hurting her daughter’s feelings, the mother turned to Reddit for advice. “I feel really guilty because I obviously hurt her feelings but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap,” she wrote, asking others if she had been in the wrong.
What Did the Internet Say?
The internet was quick to label the mother as “the a*****e” in this scenario, with many commenters criticizing her for dismissing what they saw as precious bonding moments with her daughter. Overall, her story was met with significant backlash.
“She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it,” one user pointed out.
Another commenter offered a more nuanced perspective: “There’s nothing wrong with guiding a child toward age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something no longer feels comfortable for you—that’s part of helping them grow. But it’s crucial to redirect them toward an appropriate behavior and reassure them that, while the relationship is evolving, your love for them remains constant.”
One commenter highlighted the emotional impact of the mother’s abrupt response: “If you told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now completely confused as to what sort of physical affection is ok or will get her snapped at,” they wrote.
Another user shared a touching example to emphasize the lifelong importance of parental affection: “I work at a nursing home. We have a 78-year-old man who visits his 99-year-old mother every week. She has dementia, and they hold each other—it lights them both up. You never outgrow the need for love and affection from your parents.”